The Greatest Feeling in the world
To me one of the greatest feelings in the world is to drive around town, on a crisp, cool, Arizona night, with the music up so loud that I can feel the beat pulsing through my body, singing at the top of my lungs, hair down and flying around (but put up enough that I can still see and drive safely), with the heat turned up. Maybe you have seen or even heard me around. I don't really care. People will always judge you, so why not do what you love?
I know the heat and the windows down seem like they counteract each other and one of the other is a waste to do. But I hate being cold, I love being warm, and I have figured out the exact amount of heat to wind ratio to make me feel gloriously alive. You see, Arizona doesn't get very cold, and I have lived here all my life. I live for the days where it is 115 degrees outside and I can go out and enjoy the sun, don't get me wrong it feels terribly hot, but I miss those days in the winter. I also like it when it is sweater or at least long sleeves weather too. So you see my dilemma. With the crisp wind feeling like I will freeze (it's like 70 out right now and that's cold, trust me), and the heat on my arms that feels like the sun is out I feel alive. I feel happy. Driving during the day if it's 80 degrees out, with the windows down and my arm out it kinda feels the same but not really. There is a stark difference. One I can't quite describe for you.
Now, the music. I love music. It speaks when I can't. When I can't or don't have words to convey what I am feeling. I know that that sounds like a cliche. Have you ever been to a play and the main actor or actress is at the biggest, loudest, best part of the play, the part with the most feeling and it's the turning point? Can't you feel the music ringing? Pulsing? Rushing? My personal favorite is Defying Gravity in Wicked. Every. Single. Time. Elphaba is high in the air, singing at the top of her lungs, I get chills. I love that part! If you have seen it, the part I am talking about is right before the intermission. I remember my first time feeling it vibrating to my very core, and at that moment, I knew I was in love. I always try to recreate that feeling. Finding the perfect song that fits your mood right then and there, belting it out, telling the world how you really feel, showing what you are going through (even if you are all alone, and you don't really sound all that great to others) is a feeling that you can't recreate anywhere else. No, not even in the shower.
In the car I feel free, I am moving at speeds that I never have been able to before. It is thrilling. I love driving. I don't drive on the freeway very often (personal choice really). Part of the reason is that I don't feel the need, everyone says it's so nice, and that it gets you to your destination so much faster. I don't care though, I like the long drives, going 45 (maybe even 50 if I am feeling it, and there's room in front of me) and just enjoying the moment. Again singing, driving along, (almost always) with the windows down. I would really miss doing that when I am on the freeway. It's too loud and I have to really focus so that cuts out the music and the windows rolled down part. When I learn to drive up through the mountains well enough alone (I have done it once, and I still need help and practice to do it safely before doing it alone....) then I think that those drives will become one of my favorites.
Yesterday was one of the days that I just needed it to feel like old times, so I called up a friend and we got ice cream. It wasn't enough to satisfy my want for the feeling, so I went to get dinner tonight. I blasted Christmas music and just enjoyed the some of the first cold nights that we have had this year. (Don't @ me on the Christmas music, it is never too early to spread holiday cheer okay!) With the heater up. Yes. It was TOTALLY worth it, even if the food was too expensive for not having good quality.... I am blessed with a car that has an amazing speaker, and that it is loud enough for me to be happy. (I am blessed with a car too.... story on that later when I am ready to talk about it). All of my worries and doubts and all the little things that have been bugging me flew away with the words and the wind. I don't feel completely better but I feel good enough to keep going. That is what I needed. And I felt absolutely, amazingly, wonderfully, (more -ly describing words that I don't want to think of) alive.
Now, it is time for bed. And I have to be up relatively early (for me because Sundays are usually days I don't have to set an alarm but for tonight I do) and go through my day. I will be spending most of it with family because when someone is hurt you help them as much as you can. And then we are having a birthday dinner (not mine, but we will be having that soon! I'll post all about it, and share all my genius ideas about how to celebrate it, even if we won't do them later.) Man, I have lots of post ideas that will be coming your way. Right now, I am planning on posting every night before bed, but we will see what happens.Anyways, I wouldn't trade my family for the world, even if they don't understand the joy I get from driving this way. Have a good night, and as always, I would love to hear what your favorite feeling in the world is, and of course, if anyone is actually here, come back soon!
~JTTFOTTCL~
I know the heat and the windows down seem like they counteract each other and one of the other is a waste to do. But I hate being cold, I love being warm, and I have figured out the exact amount of heat to wind ratio to make me feel gloriously alive. You see, Arizona doesn't get very cold, and I have lived here all my life. I live for the days where it is 115 degrees outside and I can go out and enjoy the sun, don't get me wrong it feels terribly hot, but I miss those days in the winter. I also like it when it is sweater or at least long sleeves weather too. So you see my dilemma. With the crisp wind feeling like I will freeze (it's like 70 out right now and that's cold, trust me), and the heat on my arms that feels like the sun is out I feel alive. I feel happy. Driving during the day if it's 80 degrees out, with the windows down and my arm out it kinda feels the same but not really. There is a stark difference. One I can't quite describe for you.
Now, the music. I love music. It speaks when I can't. When I can't or don't have words to convey what I am feeling. I know that that sounds like a cliche. Have you ever been to a play and the main actor or actress is at the biggest, loudest, best part of the play, the part with the most feeling and it's the turning point? Can't you feel the music ringing? Pulsing? Rushing? My personal favorite is Defying Gravity in Wicked. Every. Single. Time. Elphaba is high in the air, singing at the top of her lungs, I get chills. I love that part! If you have seen it, the part I am talking about is right before the intermission. I remember my first time feeling it vibrating to my very core, and at that moment, I knew I was in love. I always try to recreate that feeling. Finding the perfect song that fits your mood right then and there, belting it out, telling the world how you really feel, showing what you are going through (even if you are all alone, and you don't really sound all that great to others) is a feeling that you can't recreate anywhere else. No, not even in the shower.
In the car I feel free, I am moving at speeds that I never have been able to before. It is thrilling. I love driving. I don't drive on the freeway very often (personal choice really). Part of the reason is that I don't feel the need, everyone says it's so nice, and that it gets you to your destination so much faster. I don't care though, I like the long drives, going 45 (maybe even 50 if I am feeling it, and there's room in front of me) and just enjoying the moment. Again singing, driving along, (almost always) with the windows down. I would really miss doing that when I am on the freeway. It's too loud and I have to really focus so that cuts out the music and the windows rolled down part. When I learn to drive up through the mountains well enough alone (I have done it once, and I still need help and practice to do it safely before doing it alone....) then I think that those drives will become one of my favorites.
Yesterday was one of the days that I just needed it to feel like old times, so I called up a friend and we got ice cream. It wasn't enough to satisfy my want for the feeling, so I went to get dinner tonight. I blasted Christmas music and just enjoyed the some of the first cold nights that we have had this year. (Don't @ me on the Christmas music, it is never too early to spread holiday cheer okay!) With the heater up. Yes. It was TOTALLY worth it, even if the food was too expensive for not having good quality.... I am blessed with a car that has an amazing speaker, and that it is loud enough for me to be happy. (I am blessed with a car too.... story on that later when I am ready to talk about it). All of my worries and doubts and all the little things that have been bugging me flew away with the words and the wind. I don't feel completely better but I feel good enough to keep going. That is what I needed. And I felt absolutely, amazingly, wonderfully, (more -ly describing words that I don't want to think of) alive.
Now, it is time for bed. And I have to be up relatively early (for me because Sundays are usually days I don't have to set an alarm but for tonight I do) and go through my day. I will be spending most of it with family because when someone is hurt you help them as much as you can. And then we are having a birthday dinner (not mine, but we will be having that soon! I'll post all about it, and share all my genius ideas about how to celebrate it, even if we won't do them later.) Man, I have lots of post ideas that will be coming your way. Right now, I am planning on posting every night before bed, but we will see what happens.Anyways, I wouldn't trade my family for the world, even if they don't understand the joy I get from driving this way. Have a good night, and as always, I would love to hear what your favorite feeling in the world is, and of course, if anyone is actually here, come back soon!
~JTTFOTTCL~
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